Supporting a family

The death of a baby or a child is one of the most traumatic experience's any parent could ever have to face. The life of a bereaved parent will never be the same again. What was once their normal, will not be no more, as a bereaved parent they will embark on an emotional journey of loss and grief in search of what their new normal will be as a bereaved parent.

As a family member or friend it is natural to want to make everything 'better' but sometimes knowing what the 'right' way to act, do or say around them can sometimes be difficult. Just by being here and reading this page you have already taken the first step towards providing that much needed support to your family member or friend.

It's important to acknowledge that grief is a complex and individual process, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. As a family member or friend, it's important to listen to and validate the bereaved parent's feelings and experiences, without trying to fix their pain.

Expressing empathy and offering support can take many forms, from simply being present to actively offering practical assistance. It may also involve respecting the bereaved parent's wishes in terms of how they choose to grieve, whether that involves talking about their child or seeking professional help.

It's also important to recognize that the grieving process doesn't have a fixed timeline, and the bereaved parent may experience intense feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion even months or years after their loss. Being a supportive presence over the long term can be a valuable gift to a bereaved parent.

Finally, it's important to avoid saying things that may unintentionally minimize or invalidate the bereaved parent's experience, such as "Everything happens for a reason" or "At least they're in a better place now." Instead, focusing on simply being present and available can go a long way in supporting someone through such a devastating loss.

When speaking to a bereaved parent, it's important to express empathy and offer words of comfort that validate their pain and acknowledge the significance of their loss. Here are some examples of empathetic things to say to a bereaved parent:

"I am so sorry for your loss. Your child was so loved and will always be remembered."
"I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. Please know that I am here for you."
"Your child was a wonderful person who touched so many lives. I feel grateful to have known them."
"I don't know what to say, but please know that I care about you and am here to support you in any way I can."
"I cannot take away your pain, but I can be here to listen and support you as you grieve."
"Your child will always hold a special place in my heart. I will miss them deeply."
"I am here to support you through the ups and downs of your grief. You are not alone."
"It's okay to not be okay. Please take all the time you need to grieve and know that I am here to support you."
"I cannot imagine the strength it takes to face each day without your child. You are incredibly brave and resilient."
"Your child's memory will always be cherished and celebrated. They will never be forgotten."

Remember that each person's grief journey is unique and there is no "right" thing to say. Simply expressing your genuine care and support can go a long way in providing comfort and hope to a bereaved parent.

I didn't know what to say, so I just avoided them. Now things are not the same between us

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